Kindergarten Titans
by Inwe Lothelen
Summary: What were the Titans, their friends, and their enemies like before they were the Teen Titans? Well, let’s find out!


Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans. The original idea for this fic came from the Nursery Time Monologues by Joyce Grenfell. I've seen a few of these done by Harry Potter fans and other fans, and I thought it was high time for a Teen Titans one. I hope you enjoy it!

Summary: What were the Titans, their friends, and their enemies like before they were the Teen Titans? Well, let's find out!

**Kindergarten Titans**

All right, children, we are going to go out and have fun on the playground now. You can play in the sandbox, on the swings, or on the monkey bars if you'd like.

No, Beast Boy, you do not have to be a monkey to play on the monkey bars. Because that's just what their called. I don't know why.

Gizmo, what are you doing to Cyborg? We don't hack into our friends' hard drives. Because we don't hurt our friends, we solve our problems with words. Not those words, Cyborg.

Starfire, what did you just do to Raven? Well why did you hit her with a starbolt? Because she was playing weddings with Aqualad? Did he not want to play? Oh, I see, Aqualad is _your_ friend to play weddings with. Starfire, I think you're feeling a little thing called jealousy. It's okay to feel that way sometimes, but I don't think it's needed here. Why don't you play weddings with Robin today? That's a good girl.

What's that buzzing sound? Well stop it please, Beast Boy. Yes I know you are a busy bee, but boy busy bees don't buzz, only bee busy bees buzz... You can change back now, Beast Boy. I can still hear you. Beast Boy! I should think so.

Yes, Terra, there is room on the swing set for Kitten. Well, there are two swings on either side of you. Terra, we NEVER bite our friends! Well tell Kitten you're sorry. No, Kitten, I don't think your Daddy would do that to Terra. She can't go to jail. Because she's only five and a half. I don't think Fang will beat up Terra either. She hasn't made any teeth marks, has she? Well then stop fussing.

Raven, what are you doing to Beast Boy? Yes, I can see you've put a leash on him, I want to know why. Because he's a bad doggy? Now Raven, I know that Beast Boy sometimes does things we don't like, but I don't think he's a bad doggy. No, you're not, Beast Boy.

Cyborg! What are you doing on top of the jungle gym? No you're not a space rocket. Come down here right now. You can't wait for the countdown, come down now. Thank you.

Beast Boy, why do you have Robin's utility belt? No, I think he does need it.

Starfire, get up off the ground, you're going to get all dirty! Who shot you dead? Blackfire did? Well I don't think she meant to. Well then, she may have meant to, but she doesn't mean it now, and I told you to get up.

Yes Robin, I think Starfire is okay. It's nice that you're worried about Starfire, but I think that a big hug is enough. Because friends don't kiss each other like that, and I don't think that Starfire likes it very much. No you don't, Starfire.

Beast Boy, what have you done with Robin's utility belt? No, I'm not going to guess. I don't want to know that it's hidden in a super secret place. I want to know exactly where it is. No, I'm not going to try to find it. Well get it out of the sandbox and give it back to Robin. Now say you're sorry.

Oh, Speedy, the back of your suit has come unzipped, dear. Thank you for helping Speedy with his suit, Bumblebee. Just zip him up once, not up and down. No, Terra, you can't have a turn. No, children, you can't all zip Speedy.

Okay, children, it's time to go home. See, here come your parents. Yes, Robin, I know that you don't have parents anymore, Mr. Wayne is coming to pick you up. Now I'm sure it's not as bad as all that.

Goodbye, Starfire, Raven, Cyborg! Goodbye Aqualad, Speedy! Goodbye everyone!

Hurry up, Beast Boy. Because we don't want to keep your Mommy waiting. Well, your Daddy then. _Somebody_ is coming to take you away, aren't they, Beast Boy? Good. No you won't see me tomorrow, tomorrow is Saturday... thank heaven.


End file.
